Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Musings from the Fat and Sober: Sara Jaeger Style

My mom sent me a link this morning, that has had me laughing hysterically.  I figured I needed my own musings since I am indeed, fat and sober currently as well.

Here's an updated photo of baby #2's progress.  I realize this doesn't make me look as fat as I claim to feel but trust me, there were fifteen takes of this photo and I tried to pick the most flattering one.  So know that you're getting the cream of the crop (which isn't saying much) here and trust that there were plenty of photos that really showcase my ever expanding tummy.

But if you feel the need to tell me in the comments section that I'm "tiny, adorable, so cute, not that big," etc. please feel free to do so.  I can live with your kind words, no matter how untrue they feel on any given day.

On a completely random side note, I was just sitting on my couch which can be viewed from the front door when some lovely Mormons knocked on my door in the middle of Lakin's nap.  Now, I make it a policy to not open my door to strangers when I'm home alone so we made some  uncomfortable eye contact while the Mormons peered into my door and I sat lazily eying them from my couch.  They even rang the doorbell to see if perhaps that would rouse me from my seat.  I silently fought back the urge to answer the door and explain to them that my daughter was sleeping after an hour of stalling and talking to herself and that it would be on their hands if she woke her prematurely in a foul mood.   But I didn't.  I just sat there.  Before they left my doorstep they took a flash photo of the baby birds nesting in the wreath on our door.  I guess that was a nice perk and a funny story to share with their fellow missionaries later that day.  On one hand, I give them props for their persistent door to door evangelizing but I gotta wonder just how many moms they've hacked off by their nap time visits.

Okay, back to being pregnant.

It's hot for Minnesota and I think with this time around I am officially resigning from summer pregnancy.  I am hot and swollen pretty much all of the time.  I sleep with a fan directly on me and wish I could enjoy a little pool action but pregnancy has not been the kindest to my thighs and so all I've really ventured to do is sit in Bug's tiny dish of a pool.  When laying down and submerged my head and arms hang completely off the edge and my belly is higher than the water level, which is always dropping since my body is putting enough pressure on in inflatable sides of the pool to be slowly draining the water.  It's quite a sight.  Trust me.  (There's no photo for this one.)

We've had lots of wonderful celebrations lately, most of which involved a cool glass of wine or a free cocktail.  I would love a margarita.  My neighbors were kind enough to make me a virgin one  the other day, which hit the spot but I am not going to lie, I will be drinking an ice cold beer sometime soon after giving birth.  Possibly in the hospital.  Okay, maybe I'll wait until we get home.  Time will tell.  I don't typically drink more than one adult beverage at any given time but there's something about enjoying a beer with pizza that I am certainly missing these last couple months.  Just keeping it real.

I took Lakin on an adventure walk this morning and wondered if we'd make it up the big hill to get to the park which was our final destination.  By the time we made it to the neighborhood I was a sweaty, huffy mess and Lakin was begging to go home.  But since I'd maxed my current lung capacity we forged on and Lakin found it in herself to play on the playground and I sat my big ole self down and regained some strength to make the trek home.  I don't remember feeling this out of breath with Lakin but I also wasn't pushing a stroller with a thirty pound toddler uphill... both ways.  So I guess I have to cut myself some slack.

Cankles are just around the corner if I remember correctly from my last pregnancy, so there's something to look forward to.

All whining aside, I am so thankful to have a healthy baby growing inside me.  I'm thankful that our daughter falls more in love with the baby growing in my tummy each and every day.  (P.S. Lakin also claims to be growing a baby in her tummy too, to which Chris said, "she better not be.")  I am eager to meet out little dance star who does gigs on my bladder and has some super rhythmic karate moves in the middle of the night.


  1. Your back! I need your creative short stories that make me laugh. Even if they make me miss you even more. You and Lakin are buddies and that makes me smile. Your Mom and I are excited to meet your tummy buddy. I have to say I can appreciate your work photos, but I enjoy your life stories more. I'm your selfish dad that always enjoys being a part of your life even if its just reading your stories.

    Love Dad

  2. Thanks for giving me my laugh for the day. Oh, and you do not look that big. :)

  3. I really DO think you look small! :-) You look great! This heat is just not it 100+ there?

  4. You look awesome Sara. I totally think you should hit the pool despite feeling like you don't like your thighs. A weightless baby in the belly is a great feeling! I really think your belly looks the same size as the last pic you posted! I had an odouls in a frosty mug last night... try it out - it might do the trick for ya ;-)

  5. Couldn't agree with your Dad more..I love to read your stories about your life. You have such a wonderful way of writing that puts the biggest smile on my face! Thanks for sharing yourself so freely with us!

    Oh and we are going to the pool soon so get ready! You are totally gorgeous and will be rockin that cute baby bump!!